To Burn A Cinder...

It is a sobering experience to learn one's own limitations. Up until that point, one almost ignores them; in a few cases, we are aware of our limits in some places, but not in others. Ignorance, having said to be bliss, is our pass to possibility, allowing us to ponder upon our achieving more than we are, in reality, capable of.

It is at this point upon which I now knowingly stand, having done so unknowingly for a long time now. Believing myself a Superman, I have knowingly pushed my limits, to find myself little more than a masquerading Robin. As I fall from grace, I simply hope that the fall shall be swift and merciful, my meager efforts in concert with benevolent timing to be enough to maintain what is left of my dignity and efforts, allowing me some respite before the final embarkation.

Quite simply, I have looked into the eyes of the beast, and I have blinked. A daunting task lay before me, and I foolishly believed myself capable of each and everyone. On their own, they were mere trifles, nothing to fear, and yet, in collaboration, they were fearsome indeed, fearsome enough to bring down the fortresses of myself though unassailable, hobbies, family, responsibilities. Oh, for the halcyon days of yore! My mantra of old was "Why not?" It spoke of limitless possibilities, that there was no reason for anything to be barred from reach. Sadly, though, it was only until an answer chose to present itself: "Because you are a human. Because you are a man. Because you are limited; you cannot disobey them." Ignoring my limitations proved of no consequences, and I am now in my current state.

A year ago, nay, only a month ago, I would have charged on forward, intent in my goal, yet now, I cannot see the point. I realize what this could mean, but I can no longer bring myself to care. I wonder if I have been drained, and my usual self shall return to me upon a respite from this, a sabbatical, or at least a change in schedule. I curse myself for my stupidity (even more for my self-pity, when there are others who deserve it far more than I). I must find a way to strengthen my resolve for a final retaliation. Only then can there truly be victory.

"When life hands you lemons, go out and buy some damn apples." -A Nonnie Mouse